Somethings Not Right,Something's Out of Order...Oh it's Me!

I knew that I was off. I knew that something wasn't right and totally out of line and order.
It was me, in my spirit, my walk and especially in my talk. I could definitely tell.
At the time I couldn't exactly put my finger on it but it was something.

So now here I was in prayer this particular morning crying out to you God in a desperate type of way asking you to take your place; to get back into position of where you were before in my heart God. Please come back because somewhere along the line I must have lost you. I must have let you slip away Jesus because what I'm feeling now it's not what I use to feel. I'm off.

Take back your position God.
Your first place position, in my heart, you first loved me. Come and love on me again Jesus.

Over the course of several weeks I had begun to let doubt, anxiety, worry, stress, and the biggest of all fear creep in, move in and take over in my heart. It didn't just take over it had packed some bags and moved in and had wreaked havoc everywhere. It was destroying relationships, my jobs, prayer life, and was so subtle and cunning.

***Please pay attention to the slick tricks of the enemy!!!***

I was literally thinking that I was losing my mind and thinking that something was wrong with me. I was getting into with my momma, my daughter, my friends, crying ALL the time, depressed, didn't want to do anything but just cry, sleep, and just be-- be left alone.

But oh God thank you for pressing and praying friends; that I did reach out too, and who could pick me up in the spirit. They held me up; like Aaron and Hur held up Moses hands to fight. (Ex 17:12)
I have had some sisters to help me fight in this season and I thank you.

One thing I have to be transparent about and say is how did I get here? Did I get comfortable where I was? Yes, and no. I was still seeking God like before but where I'm going I need to stay in my POSITION and go even deeper and not let anything move me and creep in. NOTHING no doubt, fear, anxiety, anxiousness, or worry, I have to be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. 1Corinthians 16:13.

God is getting me ready to shift and to be perfectly honest with you I’m like what now? Huh? I'm going somewhere? Where am I going? I don't know? But He does. We're always like ok God I'm ready, I'm ready, use me Lord, take me God and then when the time comes we're like hold on now, wait, wait, wait, well it's too late for that.

My borders are about to be expanded, territories enlarged, but where? I don't know, I have no idea, and that's the scary part because I am Type A, I am a control freak, I am a creature of habit and I like to know where I'm going, who I'm going with, and when I'm coming back;  but not so much this time.

I just know that it's me and God; that He's got me, and that He's with me.
But most of all, He's in first position again in my heart and I thank you God.

Thanks for reading, be blessed and please share.